1965 Jackie Trent: Where Are You Now (My Love)?

Many years ago in a pre-internet, pre-compact disc world, I picked up a copy of a double album compilation called 'A Touch Of Class' from a charity shop. I mainly bought it because Side Three had Scott Walker's 'Joanna' on it (Scott's albums were still rare, ruinously expensive and yet to be re-issued at that point), though all four sides were filled with romantic songs by artists on the Philips roster to which the tag 'romantic sophistication' was intended to be applied.*

The cover shot says it all really - soft focus lighting, bottles of Brandy and Advocaat, 'lady' in a posh frock and a 'gent' in a tux with this record no doubt burbling away somewhere in the background as he tried to sweet talk his belle into bed (her bare ring finger clearly shows these weren't a married couple, though that dazed and vacant look on her face looks more the result of a good dose of Rohypnol than being dazzled by his charms - just what did he have in that glass I wonder)?

It's to this world that 'Where Are You Now (My Love)?' aspires (it would have fitted onto this album quite nicely had Jackie been a Phillips artist, but being on Pye made sure this wasn't on the guestlist). Not only that, it also sets it's sights on the more sophisticated end of the pop spectrum too, with the rousing orchestration and backing 'la la la's' giving it the air of a very British take on Bacharach and David.

In it's own mind maybe - Tony Hatch's lyrics clump with the grace of an iron boot lined with lead ("When shadows of evening gently fall, the memory of you I soon recall") which Trent's too plummy by half, cut glass diction brutally exposes. There's none of Hal David's clever punning wordplay here, just the vague notion that wrapping it up in high falutin' language adds the garb of class it dearly wants to drape itself in. Trent is game enough, but she's too Mary Poppins governess prissy to really warm to and the distance she puts between the listener and their emotional involvement is a killer.

'Where Are You Now (My Love)?' is not a song I particularly dislike, but with everyone too keen to show their best sides it's the archetypical plate of mutton dressed as lamb, a gaudy 'Calvin Lauren' or 'Ralph Klein' watch on a market stall with a misleadingly optimistic 'RRP £150' (actual price £5.99) on the box. In other words, a fake facade that leaves me cynical whereas as simple 'cheap watches here' sign would have made for a far more tempting buy.

* Although Record Two, Side One, Track One? - The Hawaii 5-0 Theme as played by The Chaquito Orchestra. What stage in the seduction this would soundtrack I couldn't possibly imagine, but in a neat joining of the dots I only found out today that 'Where Are You Now (My Love)?' was the theme from 'It's Dark Outside', a 1960's British television crime series featuring William Mervyn as Inspector Rose. Who would've thunk it?